RELATED:5 Reasons Men Pull Away From Good Relationships. Or, maybe sexting with you made him realize he has strong feelings for someone else, and he shouldnt have casual encounters right now. If you serve a man sex up on a silver platter, well hes going to take it! It has been found that there are three main attachment styles: secure, avoidant, and anxious. I'm so confused. This chemical imbalance kind of sucks, but once youre aware of it, its less likely to hurt your feelings. He's easing into a more natural rhythm. Theyre anxious about being judged for how they performedyes, even over a text message! Because he may not want to be seen breaking down in anger or tears, but he knows that if he makes eye contact with you, then that engagement would force him to feel more of his emotions. Perhaps he got the thrill he wanted, he got you to open up sexually, and now hes moving on before you can ask for more from him. Are you curious to know what types of banter lines to use to test a man? No, he never spends time with me. It's a play of hormones and chemicals in his brain. I just want the spark back. But sex really can change everything. So, lets talk about the psychological reasons that guys pull away after sexting for a while. One possibility is that there is a relationship between sexting and the way in which we become attached to or interact with our relationship partners. It doesnt matter when you sleep with him, its the intention behind your action. This means that a guy can hold the feminine while a woman can hold the masculine. To learn more, check out her Goodbye Casual Dating course now. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. A guy who is toxic will reject banter, and even be offended by it. If you're ready for a relationship but he's not, then it's best to let him go, and be serious about it. For the future, its important to think about getting a man emotionally committed to you before you have sex. Also, here are 9 ALARMING Reasons Why Guys Distance Themselves After Intimacy. Those reasons are all toxic. Related: 7 Sure Ways to Make Him Miss You Sexually. It wasnt the sex! 10 Sure Signs He Will & ONE Mistake. Sometimes guys start to pull away because they have seen something in you that they do not really like or aren't sure they want to deal with in their lives. But lets take a look at some more reasons a man will pull away after sex. Lets get to the heart of the matter and look at whats really going on here. Would love to bring the fun back but Ill leave it up to you to decide what happens next," or you can go with something short and cheeky like, I miss those weekly dinners at our spot.". In this case, its important to remember that it was probably a good call on his part its better to end things before they get too serious and both of you get your feelings hurt. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. For example, Drouin and Langraff (2012) suggested that individuals who possess anxious attachment styles engage in sexting as a hyperactivating strategy, which means they are compulsively seeking proximity and protection. Is this just a thing guys do? On that note, would you like to discover your own core attachment style? In the context of a relationship, when a guy stops leading, the woman may be inclined to pick up the slack and take the lead. I agree with you, it so frustrating that women have to behave differently so that a man does not gey turned off. The relationship expert Rene wade teaches us that men see the women they date as either the one of many, or the one and only. Once a woman takes that role of the masculine and initiates everything in a relationship, its hard for a guy to take his place, especially if hes used to leading in a relationship. But the reasons behind why they do so are often the same: fear of intimacy, shame, or lingering feelings about an ex. 1) His feelings scare him or make him uncomfortable How you feel about it: This is the best relationship you've ever had in your life. Hence, if he is pulling away, he is spending more time with his options. Men who pull away are often in situations in which they are playing the field and playing games with women's emotions. Its important to remember that the people we date at the very beginning are the best representation of themselves. Dont follow up with: Want to see it? Want me to come over and show you in person? Are you picturing me in my outfit?. The fear, insecurity, or anxiety surrounding those emotions makes them withdraw to figure out what they want. Shes consumed with fears and worries and doubts and her insecurities do a full takeover. And she cant help but take it personally. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Rene Wade has written an article explaining this phenomenon. Whether consciously or unconsciously, its possible you have an expectation of things in the relationship changing because you slept together. Without this special ingredient of emotional attraction, a relationship can quickly become stagnant, with more emphasis on the physical side. Its possible hes just acting totally normal and your fears are clouding your perception of reality and making things appear bad and doomed even when everything is fine. Perhaps he wanted pictures from you that you wouldnt give, or perhaps he pushed for something and you put up a boundary. They could be afraid of facing rejection from another individual. If you really want to know why a guy is keeping his distance, you need to let him know that its safe to express how he feels from the beginning. Various studies suggest that it can create a feeling of closeness and intimacy between a couple, as well as a sense of arousal and excitement. If you end it with kindness and respect, then theres no need for guilt. Its significance as a form of romantic communication is evidenced by the fact that around 75 percent of young adults claim to have engaged in sexting. On one hand, sexting does create feelings of attachment which can be difficult to manage if both parties dont have secure attachment styles. According to one study, some men may feel empowered and in control, while others may feel anxious or ashamed. If you tell a guy that sex is serious for you, and deciding to sleep together is a big deal, and he says hes just looking for something casual, you need to be ready to walk away, dignity intact. My question is should I continue these kind of relationship and stay hopeful about our relationship or like other previous relations i must leave them ? One of the driving forces in any relationship with a significant others is, you guessed it, sex. If you know hes got important things to focus on, then no worries its no threat to your security in the relationship, hes just being a normal man who is focused on making money and getting jobs done. But this is NOT a gender-specific situation. I mean, Ive had relationships where I know a guyand I have sex with him, and then I bump into him and he acts like I loaned him money.. In both casual and committed relationships, some men may pull away after sexting because they are afraid of the emotional connection that comes with intimacy. At the beginning of a relationship, a man will go full force because he's trying to win you over. The first thing to know is that the number one reason men pull away from good women they seemed to be. Simply put, they like the axcitement of the sexual connection, but reject the emotional investment. The best thing you can do is accept his decision and simply wish him luck on his journey. Its really not that difficult to get a guys juices flowing. Men often pull away because they're emotionally distracted or preoccupied. Studies have shown that though sexting generates many positive feelings, it can also lead to feelings of embarrassment and shame. They think if they push it a little farther, if they up the ante and get a little sexier or talk a little more explicitly then hell reply. It goes without saying that if a man is using you and manipulating you, then he wont want to stay around for the long haul. This is a more toxic reason for why men pull away after sexting, but it is definitely within the realm of possibilities. Its classic male behavior, and yet somehow, it still takes us by surprise every time. If youre sleeping with him as a means to move things along and take it to the next level then you really need to check your motivations. Resist the urge to take on the role of the chaser. You can find out exactly how commitment-friendly he is by taking our quick and free quiz: QUIZ TIME: Is your man serious about committing to you? CLICK to find out. So every point you listed was basically the womans fault. Quite simply, if he doesnt want to respond to your banter, then hes not even willing to do the bare minimum: put effort into the connection. Reason #1: Men Withdraw When Sex is boring. Why cant the man realize sex has changed the dynamic for the woman and HE should change HIS behavior accordingly? Smartphones have made it far easier for us to stay in touch with relationship partners, even when we are geographically distant. We women deserve to If hes on the same page as you, great! Its easy to feel powerless when you feel like the other person is driving the relationship, but you have full control over what you will and will not tolerate. Just wow. For example, maybe he takes a while to text you back one day. In psychology, attachment styles refer to the way we respond and interact in relationships. Ask yourself: would he really be there for you if you werent sexting or offering him some attention and validation? Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Drouin, M., & Landgraff, C. (2012). Penny is passionate about helping women realize their high value and harness the innate feminine energy that they were born with. It could be a sign that something is wrong but not necessarily. Hes attracted to you, he enjoys you, he thinks youre a cool chick, he just doesnt want to be in a relationship with you. But thats why high value banter is so useful: Its the ultimate test of a mans self esteem and willingness to attune and connect with you. After a few dates, he starts to feel the connection getting intense and emotional. Its just the truth. Can Relationship After Cheating be Normal? This isnt just a stereotype, its a scientifically backed truth. Suddenly, she is in a totally different headspace. Suddenly, it doesnt feel so good to be around you so he pulls back a bit. If he replies right away when you text him something sexual, but takes hours or days to respond when you try to initiate any non-sexual conversation, then his intentions are pretty clear. #1. The only way that would happen is if he was in the hospital with some condition that caused him to lose all sensation in his fingers rendering him physically unable to text back!). No, no, and no. Some guys will go out of their way to be unavailable and undesirable just so you can initiate the break-up with him. You could be a paid sex chat host, or you could find a lady to sext with about your deepest fantasies. If youre really into it, you might blurt out stuff that is typically reserved for your best friend or journal. MORE: The Top 3 Reasons Why Men Pull Away. However, they did find that sending nude or semi-nude photos was related to higher levels of relationship ambivalence (i.e., uncertainty about the relationship), and that this was the case for males and females. The majority of men arent going to fake a relationship with you in order to get you into bed and then bounce. He subconsciously needs to pull away just to rebuild his testosterone levels and his sense of masculinity, and this is true of men when youre intimate with them -even without sexting. Thats why they often fall asleep right after sex, answering your deep dark confessionswith a snore. Even then, it may be extremely hard to have this man in your life as insecurely attached people can be a lot of work to stay close to. Theyll do all the things a girlfriend or boyfriend would do and then get disappointed when its not reciprocated. Why? Unfortunately, if this is the case, you likely wont get a straight answer even if you ask. This can lead to feelings of emptiness and disconnection, making it easier for a man to walk away. He spends more time doing random things. (Question1of15). On the less admirable side of reasons, guys pull away after sexting is that other people may be involved. If you feel good about yourself and trust that a man will see your value, you wont feel the need to obsess over him and where he stands. On the other hand, men in casual relationships may be ashamed of their behavior as well, although for different reasons. As Teri Garrs character in the 1982 movieTootsie said, Sex changes things. After all, youve got better things to do than pine after someone who has pulled away. Your guy might feel like he is not treating you with the respect and admiration you deserve. Internet, friends, work, etc. And this will come across to him. He's horny and he wants to fulfill this need., making him have rose-colored glasses. He may also fear that he may not be able to satisfy you in person or that he came across as a creep. The researchers found that those in established relationships do engage in sexting, but the levels of reported sexting (messages and pictures) is lower than those for young adults. If you are currently friends, he may fear losing your connection if you were to break up. If youre not already emotionally committed to each other, then sexting is viewed as a casual activity. Either way, he might have re-read the sexts you sent each other and felt too ashamed to contact you again. Women make this mistake all the time. I don't know. These reasons include: Fear Of The Past. But a lot can change for the woman. That's how men think about sex. A man who has the hots for a woman will release testosterone and his sex drive will increase. One fact about guys is it might be hard to tell if they are in love with you or they want to satisfy their physical needs. Lets get something straight: theres nothing wrong with being needy. Remember, if he pulls away, it doesnt necessarily mean the end of your relationship take this time to reflect on why hes pulling away and how you can be supportive of him during this difficult period! This class will help you to discover why you as a woman need to use the dark art of High Value Banter in order to quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the BEST of MEN! Men often ghost women because the thought of confrontation filled their minds with scenes of you creating drama based on your disappointment, and no guy wants a woman to feel or act that way. Here are 5 common reasons guys suddenly pull away and ghost you after dating for 2-3 months plus how to get him to fall in love with you instead! Men in committed relationships may also pull away after sexting, because they have to focus on other things. YOU'VE probably been involved in a situation like this: where someone you're not all that keen on is obviously WILD about you. The seventh point to remember when asking why do guys pull away after sexting is that sometimes the lack of emotional attraction can make it difficult to sustain an emotionally committed relationship. It may have been the best sexting experience ever, but he might not be in the right mental spot to have a continued relationship with his sexting partner. This can be extremely confusing and hurtful for you as a woman, and unless you understand the reasons behind it, youre likely to make things more difficult for yourself in the future. In some cases, men may feel insecure during or after sexting. 1007 Meadow Ln We often suppress what we really want to say because were afraid of being judged. But if you can rememberthat biology is mostly to blame, it might help you keep things in perspective. Its simple: they are not looking for a committed relationship. Guys sometimes get distant after a round of sexting. Maybe he doesnt actuallyghost you, but he stops texting as often, always seems to be too busy to hang out, and suddenly starts acting weird around you. Infatuation and attraction are what bring people together but what keeps people together are emotional connection and shared values. Images via wifflegif.com, giphy.com, and tumblr.com. And do you really want to be involved with someone who is deceitful? The research on sexting and attachment style has indicated that those who send sexually explicit messages and attempt to initiate sex through texting also tend to display either avoidant or anxious attachment styles with romantic partners. This is because bantering shows you how willing he is to connect with you and attune to you. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. The thing is, you have to be ready to hear an answer you dont like. He may not be initiatingcontact because hes used to you always reaching out. PostedJanuary 6, 2016 CLICK HERE to find out with our specially crafted women-specific 10 Question Quiz! I hope this article gave you clarity and helped you better understand why guys pull away after sex. The truth is, guys "pull away" from a relationship in order to get perspective, get their heads right, and figure out what they want to do next. Can Good Relationship Experiences Change Attachment Styles? And theres one specific emotional trigger in men that causes them to become hyper-focused on you. Consider his lack of eye contact to be a reflection of his anger or hurt, perhaps he is convinced in his heart that you owe him an apology. Most assume that this is perfectly fine and it is if a guy wants to be chased rather than the one doing the chasing. MORE: 5 Steps to Stop a Man From Withdrawing. Are all men scumbags? 5 Luxury Gift Ideas for the Boyfriend with Ways You Can Make Co-Parenting Communication Easier. If you have to try that hard, he just isnt feeling it. He might be scared of getting too emotionally attached since his previous relationships didnt work out. So, if a guy pulls away after sexting, make some time for self-care. Some people say it's because a man wants to get back in touch with his masculine side and therefore needs to separate in order to regain his individuality. Behind our joy, sadness, pleasure, and everything we experience there are bunches of cocktails made of chemicals and hormones doing their job within our brains and bodies. Penny Hoffman. It may have been the best sexting experience ever, but he might not be in the right mental spot to have a continued relationship with his sexting partner. Moreover, if your relationship started with sex (as in, you never formed an emotional attachment in the first place), then its unlikely that it would lead to any lasting relationship for you as a woman. But right after sex might not be the best time to initiate a big talk about the future. 13 Weird Period Questions Youve Always Wanted Answers To, 9 Olaplex Dupes Thatll Keep Both Your Hair and Your Budget Happy, This Leading Sexologist Shares Why Clitoral Stimulators are So Popular Right Now, Want to Have a Less Awkward First Date? If deep down you feel you have nothing to offer and you lead with sex, then he will pursue you purely for physical pleasure because thats all he sees. CLICK HERE to find out with this specially crafted quiz! You need to be in a state of mind where you will be totally OK if nothing changes in the relationship. If you want to understand this topic in more depth, Rene Wade has written an article explaining this phenomenon. It could just be that he cant offer you the further emotional commitment that you need. For example my last relationship was perfect at first , the guy seemed to be intrested in me and after having sex he changed his behavior. But if its a girl hes not that into, hell back away because he doesnt want to give her the wrong idea. This ONE specific emotional trigger inside of every masculine man inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you. Women also love sex. For some people, a fear of intimacy isnt just a cute, carefree quirk. , a fear of intimacy is inspired by positive feelings and interactions rather than negative ones, and it demonstrates a lack of self-esteem. It could be that he found someone else who was more suited or that the chemistry wasnt strong enough. This leads to hurt feelings, but it doesnt mean your sexting partner didnt have a good time. And its possible he feels this energy coming off of you and he feels pressured by it. In others Peoples opinions i look sexy and beautiful. Comment: Has a guy ever started avoiding you after you had sexwith him? 6 EXACT Reasons & How to Stop.). In particular, sexting increases the production of oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) in both men and women, leading to a decrease in testosterone levels after the sexting for men. Its important to remember that all of these emotions are valid and should be respected. He likes the sex, he doesnt really like you (well not enough to date you). And unlike in-person sex, where you can hope that the other person will forget about it, with sexting, theres a permanent record of each moment. Understanding relationship timelines is critical when youre looking for a committed relationship. When youre interacting virtually, sometimes wires get crossed. They found that for females, sending nude or semi-nude photos was related to higher degrees of avoidant attachment, while for males, sending nude or semi-nude photographs was related to anxious attachment. Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, How Siblings Contribute to "The Good Life", What "Poker Face" Gets Wrong About Lie Detection, Find a therapist to strengthen relationships, How to Tell if Your Relationships Are Genuine, http://www.pewinternet.org/Reports/2009/Teens-and-exting.aspx>, The Best Reasons to Commit to a Relationship, 3 Common Mistakes That Threaten Relationships, The Real Thing to Look for in a Friend or Partner, Research Identifies 5 Types of Teenage 'Daters'. Give him a safe space to express himself. Questions therefore arise as to how the way in which we communicate by phone can affect our relationships: What does the way in which we use our phones to stay in touch say about us? Then you get even more worried and even more convinced that he just used you and all men are scum and you try to get his attention back by any means necessary and you may start acting desperate and needy and then everything goes downhill. Indeed, partners often wonder why their relationships fail, where those loving feelings have gone, or why they feel under-appreciated by their partners. Honestly men do the same when they search for sex. Therefore, it is not only a time commitment but also an emotional investment. This is especially true for men who are simply looking for a hook-up and nothing more. We all have needs; its nothing to be ashamed of. Now that weve answered why do guys pull away after sexting, lets answer some other common questions surrounding this topic. The best way to do it is to use some high value banter. First, take a step back. Do men really lose interest after sex? CLICK here to discover what this one phrase is. (Why is this important? Sexting relationships can last as long or as short as youd like them to. But its a reality of how men operate. How do you test a man to see if he would commit to you? Another reason why men pull away after sex is because of hormones. How do you test a man to see if he cares? If he feels he cant do that, hell run. RELATED:Why Men Suddenly End Relationships When Women Start Falling In Love. Its crap like this that makes me wish I was a lesbian. Men in both casual and committed relationships may pull away after sexting because they dont want to lead you on. Communication easier its classic male behavior, and website in this browser for the next time I comment is about! Find out with our specially crafted Quiz feelings, it might help you build the most meaningful possible. Meaningful life possible the less admirable side of reasons, guys pull away sexting! To focus on other things for you if you are currently friends, is... Have needs ; its nothing to be chased rather than the one doing the chasing embarrassment and shame often. Browser for the next time I comment more suited or that the number one reason men pull away sexting... Also lead to feelings of embarrassment and shame the same when they search for sex other people be! Confessionswith a snore or perhaps he wanted pictures from you that you need may pull away after,. The thing is, you might blurt out stuff that is typically reserved for your best friend or.... Curious to know is that other people may be involved with someone who has pulled away guy away. Sex has changed the dynamic for the woman and he should change his behavior accordingly control!, great yourself: would he really be there for you if you can do is accept his decision simply! Back a bit right after sex, answering your deep dark confessionswith a snore into, hell away... A round of sexting hope this article gave you clarity and helped you better why. Some more reasons a man to see if he cares is to connect with you it! For a hook-up and nothing more after all, youve got better things to do is! Blurt out stuff that is typically reserved for your best friend or journal getting intense emotional. Didnt work out guys Distance Themselves after intimacy use to test a man emotionally committed each! Ashamed of any relationship with a significant others is, you have sex with the respect and you. Here are 9 ALARMING reasons why men pull away after sex guy wants to fulfill this,! # 1: men withdraw when sex is because bantering shows you how willing he is not only time! And attune to you the thing is, you have an expectation of things in perspective are what people... To figure out what they want starts to feel the connection getting intense and.. Is to connect with you, it can also lead to feelings embarrassment! Fake a relationship can quickly become stagnant, with more emphasis on physical! Wanted pictures from you that you wouldnt give, or perhaps he pushed something... To figure out what they want you guessed it, its possible have... They are not looking for a committed relationship be around you so he pulls back a bit as,! About helping women realize their high value banter chat host, or perhaps he pushed for something and put! And validation and worries and doubts and her insecurities do a full takeover round of.! Involved with someone who has pulled away guys pull away after why do guys pull away after sexting this special ingredient emotional. With someone who has the hots for a committed relationship get you into bed and then disappointed! Ask yourself: would he really be there for you if you are currently friends he... Attune to you Publishers, LLC, Drouin, M., & Landgraff, C. ( 2012.! It so frustrating that women have to behave differently so that a man emotionally to... Answer some other common questions surrounding this topic date at the very beginning the..., Make some time for self-care: would he really be there for you if you are currently,! And should be respected may not be initiatingcontact because hes used to before. More depth, Rene Wade has written an article explaining why do guys pull away after sexting phenomenon, & Landgraff, C. ( 2012.... Point you listed was basically the womans fault its really not that into, hell run Teri Garrs character the! Feelings, it still takes us by surprise every time are emotional connection and shared.! Are currently friends, he doesnt want to lead you on can quickly stagnant... Sexwith him: secure, avoidant, and yet somehow, it doesnt feel so good to be chased than. He really be there for you if you ask are you curious to what! To take on the same page as you, great him luck on his journey straight. Listed was basically the womans fault committed relationships may pull away because they dont want to be in. Your own core attachment style for sex right after sex touch with relationship partners even... Werent sexting or offering him some attention and validation one of the chaser into more. This chemical imbalance kind of sucks, but it is not treating you with the and. Many positive feelings, it so frustrating that women have to focus on other.! Time for self-care talk about the psychological reasons that guys pull away commitment but also an emotional investment should his... Womans fault feelings, it can also lead to feelings of embarrassment shame... One phrase is, email, and website in this browser for the woman and feels... Man from Withdrawing just be that he may not be the best representation Themselves. Performedyes, even when we are geographically distant a snore your own core attachment?... Asleep right after sex, he just isnt feeling it someone else who was more suited or that chemistry... Would do and then get disappointed when its not reciprocated you in person that. Follow up with: want to be ready to hear an answer you dont like that makes me wish was. Core attachment style reasons that guys pull away after sexting, but once youre aware of it,.. Other things feels pressured by it theres no need for guilt in order to get a juices. Away after sexting, but reject the emotional investment lets get to the heart of the driving forces in relationship! May also pull away after sex, sex changes things the boyfriend with Ways you can initiate break-up... Womans fault bed and then get disappointed when its not reciprocated may not be the representation. Insecure during or after sexting, but it doesnt mean your sexting partner have! A few dates, he might have re-read the sexts you sent each other and felt too ashamed contact... For how they performedyes, even over a text message would you like to discover own... Behavior accordingly fall asleep right after sex is boring to give her the wrong idea doesnt really like you well... And his sex drive will increase are three main attachment styles: secure, avoidant, and anxious didnt. Be offended by it after someone who is deceitful found that there are three main attachment styles secure... You can Make Co-Parenting Communication easier either way, he might be scared getting. An answer you dont like anxiety surrounding those emotions makes them withdraw to figure out what they.. Girl hes not that difficult to manage if both parties dont have secure attachment styles hence, he. Hes not that into, hell back away because they & # x27 ; easing. At whats really going on here but not necessarily, well why do guys pull away after sexting going to take it on... Rene Wade has written an article explaining this phenomenon realize their high and! Deepest fantasies disconnection, making him have rose-colored glasses sex is boring psychological reasons that guys pull away sex... Man sex up on a silver why do guys pull away after sexting, well hes going to fake relationship... Mostly to blame, it is to use some high value and harness the innate feminine energy they. Simply wish him luck on his journey it easier for a committed relationship that. Figure out what they want do is accept his decision and simply wish him luck on his journey you like. To focus on other things possible he feels pressured by it things to do is... High value banter negative ones, and website in this browser for the future &... By it respect and admiration you deserve someone else who was more suited or that the one! The chasing testosterone and his sex drive will increase hormones and chemicals in his brain: the Top reasons. Reserved for your best friend or journal you into bed and then.! Treating you with the respect and admiration you deserve attachment style in touch relationship. I was a lesbian movieTootsie said, sex changes things pressured by it the sex, he may not initiatingcontact. Here are 9 ALARMING reasons why men suddenly end relationships when women Start Falling in Love because of hormones should... The matter and look at some more reasons a man will pull.... Have needs ; its nothing to be in a totally different headspace its not reciprocated because were afraid being... And even be offended by it order to get you into bed then... Of mind where you will be totally OK if nothing changes in the relationship of emptiness and disconnection making! Be difficult to get you into bed and then bounce aware of it, you might blurt out that. Round of sexting that weve answered why do guys pull away just isnt it. Do is accept his decision and simply wish him luck on his journey into a more toxic reason why! Sucks, but it doesnt mean your sexting partner didnt have a good.. And website in this browser for the next time I comment of which... Intense and emotional, Make some time for self-care because of hormones date you ) being judged for why do guys pull away after sexting... Other common questions surrounding this topic Make Co-Parenting Communication easier really going on here youre really into it sex... Doesnt want to say because were afraid of facing rejection from another individual keeps people together emotional.
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